Heidi Aphrodite

I sometimes find myself falling a little in love with relative strangers because of their blogs.  The way someone can turn a phrase that hits a chord in my brain or soul or body has been known to leave me slightly breathless for a few seconds.  I find myself mentally reaching out, wanting a connection with a mind that can do that to me with so little effort, remembering what it’s like to have that connection, that kind of current that keeps you on your toes, happy to maneuver to match it.

I miss that.  I miss the zing-back-and-forth-volley that happens when two people are on the same level and know each other so instinctively well that they can predict and then choose to ignore the other’s tennis-match returns, because it’s more fun to stand in a corner of the court and have to run to hit the ball than it is just waiting in the middle for the easy lob.  I’ve only had a relationship like that a couple of times.  I’m not the smartest or quickest or wittiest person on the planet but I have high standards…and I hate it when my knowledge/life experience/perception is dismissed as easily as a plastic fork.  I don’t like the feeling that someone is humoring me because he thinks it’s cute that I use big words and have Opinions On Things, or because he thinks that he can somehow retrain me into a female version of him.  (The ironic thing about that last part is that I once was involved with someone who wanted me to change into his ideal and would have resented me if I actually HAD.)

What I like and want is that wonderful give and take, exchange of ideas without criticism, learning, growth that comes with the meeting of complementary minds.  I don’t want someone who knows all the same things I do, but I do want someone who appreciates the weird things I know and loves it when I talk about them.  I don’t want someone who only wants me to be done talking so he can correct me.  I don’t want someone who has to contradict everything I say just because he doesn’t understand it.  (reasons I’m not dating That Guy)  I don’t want someone who makes me feel little and stupid just because he does.  I don’t want someone who rolls his eyes when I switch into Feminist Mode.  And I don’t want to be the kind of person who corrects, contradicts, belittles, and scoffs.

Can I please meet someone who makes my brain hum with excitement?  Whose intelligence just adds to his overall attractiveness?  Who isn’t intimidated enough to try to make me feel stupid?  Or am I just relegated to pining over bloggers who may or may not actually be attractive, but whose words inspire and delight…and make my mind soar with possibilities?